The 9 Enneagram Personality Types

"Why don’t you understand me, and more importantly, why don’t you seem to care?"

“If I could just get them to see and understand what I am saying, they would…”

It can be so frustrating and challenging when the most important people in our lives do not understand us. We try endlessly to explain our feelings, thoughts and needs and they just don’t get it. What commonly happens is that we try, try and try but to no avail, and eventually we become hurt, angry, resentful, and even at times resigned. We interpret this as “they do not care how I feel or care about what is most important to me.”

But is that true? Is it really hopeless?

Not being seen, heard, understood, or cared for are the most common areas that people suffer from and these are the most frequent issues that show up in my practice. If you are feeling this way you are not alone. These issues show up in all types of relationships, such as couples, family systems, friendships and even with co-workers. We believe that if we explain ourselves enough, the other person will surely hear us and see it the same way, but as you have probably already experienced, this is not generally the way it goes.

The original communication commonly begins with a need to connect to the person you’re speaking to, to improve a situation or misunderstanding, to share vulnerability, or protect yourself or another person.  Somehow, your original intention gets thwarted and you are upset.

The good news is, the other person is not doing this because they don’t love you or care, and it is not even done consciously. And YES there is an answer to this madness!

upset couple

Learning your individual Enneagram type and Trifecta, will begin to give you the answers you have been so desperately seeking, as well as help you navigate to alternative ways of relating both to yourself, and others.

The Enneagram is an innate psychological and spiritual system and also part of your personality blueprinting. It will give you the insight, understanding and perspective that you need to start seeing yourself and the world around you from a different lens.

  • The Enneagram is comprised of 9 innate personality types, each with their own gifts and challenges, and their own ways of navigating through everyday life. There are 9 unique ways to see the world.
  • The Enneagram system is divided into 3 different centers of intelligence, which are the head, the heart, and the gut. These centers control if we are a person who thinks first, feels first, or acts first.
  • The 3rd part of the Enneagram is the Enneagram Personality Trifectas which determines the 3 main driving types and strategies that we use in our everyday lives; one from each center or intelligence and the order in which we use them.
  • The 4th and final part of the Enneagram includes the instinctual survival strategies. Do we rely on our self, our community or an intimate? This will individualize your blueprint even more.

The origin of the Enneagram dates back to Babylonian times and is forever evolving, which is something that I really appreciate about this system. The Enneagram is now widely used all over the world in different coaching practices, and growth and development trainings both personally and professionally.

"What is so special about the Enneagram?"

enneagram types
Copyright 2008 The Enneagram Institute. All Rights Reserved. Used with Permission

The Enneagram provides a laser-like view into “what makes you tick?” It focuses not only on our behaviors, but actually identifies the underlying motivations beneath those behaviors. When you learn your Enneagram types, “the world can become your oyster.”

Sound too good to be true?

Well imagine if you were able see and know yourself from the outside in. To observe yourself, free of judgments, and with relentless compassion, what would be possible for you? Taking this a step further, what if you could do the same for the world around you and especially with those with who are most important to you?

You can.

"Why should I find out my Enneagram Personality Type and Trifecta? How does it differ from any other personality system?"

While there are many personality-typing systems out there, and I am sure many more being developed as we speak, the Enneagram focuses on your innate motivations, not just behaviors.

In one session of Enneagram coaching, clients have reported that they have gone deeper, and faster to their core issues than with any other system or therapy that they have participated in before.

They immediately experience a felt sense of peace, freedom and compassion in understanding, they come to see that they are not broken or defective, and that this is all in the wiring/operating system of their Enneagram Type/Tritype.  The same is also true for those closest to them.

Your Enneagram Personality Trifecta answers the following questions:

  • Who am I really, and who are you?
  • Why I don’t feel understood by my partner?
  • Why do things seem so easy for some and so hard for others?
  • It seems so obvious to me how to address this problem or issue, how come it is so difficult for most of the people I know?
  • Why do I feel as if nobody really understands me?
  • Why is it so difficult to connect with others?
  • Why do I get along with some so well, yet find it so difficult to get along with others?

The Enneagram and what it offers

You’ll gain the ability to see the world through a different lens, with increased compassion for yourself and others. You’ll be more powerfully connected to the ones you love, and to all of humanity. You will gain freedom: freedom to truly “be” – to cherish yourself and others; the freedom of not personalizing actions, responses and behaviors of others. You’ll increase in the capacity to both give and receive love unconditionally.

"I see that there are other different Enneagram Coaches out there. Why should I work with you?"

I am deeply passionate about the Enneagram and Relations Coaching in general. What led to this line of work is my love and affinity for people, and my commitment is being a conduit for each person that I work with. My sincerest wish is that each person sees and embraces their own unique power, beauty and truth.

I was first introduced to the Enneagram in 1980 as a teenager, that being said, over the past few decades I have studied with some of the great masters like Russ Hudson, co-founder of the Enneagram Institute, Tom Condon, and most recently with Katherine Fauvre Consulting. I am currently certified with Katherine Fauvre and in using the Trifectas and Instinctual Survival Strategies for transformational work.

There are very few practitioners out there that have actually studied the Trifectas in depth, as well as being up-to-date on the latest research regarding the Instinctual Survival Strategies. I am one of those practitioners.

Clients have stated that my level of expertise or knowledge, as well as my intuition in combination with my safe and caring nature, helped them to reach a depth of their own self-exploration that they never dreamed possible.

If you’re ready to find out more about your own type, take advantage of the 15-minute free consultation that I offer and experience for yourself.

You may also take a free online quiz here.