“If I could just get them to see and understand what I am saying, they would…”
It can be so frustrating and challenging when the most important people in our lives do not understand us. We try endlessly to explain our feelings, thoughts and needs and they just don’t get it. What commonly happens is that we try, try and try but to no avail, and eventually we become hurt, angry, resentful, and even at times resigned. We interpret this as “they do not care how I feel or care about what is most important to me.”
But is that true? Is it really hopeless?
Not being seen, heard, understood, or cared for are the most common areas that people suffer from and these are the most frequent issues that show up in my practice. If you are feeling this way you are not alone. These issues show up in all types of relationships, such as couples, family systems, friendships and even with co-workers. We believe that if we explain ourselves enough, the other person will surely hear us and see it the same way, but as you have probably already experienced, this is not generally the way it goes.
The original communication commonly begins with a need to connect to the person you’re speaking to, to improve a situation or misunderstanding, to share vulnerability, or protect yourself or another person. Somehow, your original intention gets thwarted and you are upset.
The good news is, the other person is not doing this because they don’t love you or care, and it is not even done consciously. And YES there is an answer to this madness!
The Enneagram is an innate psychological and spiritual system and also part of your personality blueprinting. It will give you the insight, understanding and perspective that you need to start seeing yourself and the world around you from a different lens.
The origin of the Enneagram dates back to Babylonian times and is forever evolving, which is something that I really appreciate about this system. The Enneagram is now widely used all over the world in different coaching practices, and growth and development trainings both personally and professionally.
The Enneagram provides a laser-like view into “what makes you tick?” It focuses not only on our behaviors, but actually identifies the underlying motivations beneath those behaviors. When you learn your Enneagram types, “the world can become your oyster.”
Sound too good to be true?
Well imagine if you were able see and know yourself from the outside in. To observe yourself, free of judgments, and with relentless compassion, what would be possible for you? Taking this a step further, what if you could do the same for the world around you and especially with those with who are most important to you?
While there are many personality-typing systems out there, and I am sure many more being developed as we speak, the Enneagram focuses on your innate motivations, not just behaviors.
In one session of Enneagram coaching, clients have reported that they have gone deeper, and faster to their core issues than with any other system or therapy that they have participated in before.
They immediately experience a felt sense of peace, freedom and compassion in understanding, they come to see that they are not broken or defective, and that this is all in the wiring/operating system of their Enneagram Type/Tritype. The same is also true for those closest to them.
Your Enneagram Personality Tritype answers the following questions:
You’ll gain the ability to see the world through a different lens, with increased compassion for yourself and others. You’ll be more powerfully connected to the ones you love, and to all of humanity. You will gain freedom: freedom to truly “be” – to cherish yourself and others; the freedom of not personalizing actions, responses and behaviors of others. You’ll increase in the capacity to both give and receive love unconditionally.
I am deeply passionate about the Enneagram and Relations Coaching in general. What led to this line of work is my love and affinity for people, and my commitment is being a conduit for each person that I work with. My sincerest wish is that each person sees and embraces their own unique power, beauty and truth.
I was first introduced to the Enneagram in 1980 as a teenager, that being said, over the past few decades I have studied with some of the great masters like Russ Hudson, co-founder of the Enneagram Institute, Tom Condon, and most recently with Katherine Fauvre Consulting. I am currently certified with Katherine Fauvre and in using the Tritypes and Instinctual Survival Strategies for transformational work.
There are very few practitioners out there that have actually studied the Tritypes in depth, as well as being up-to-date on the latest research regarding the Instinctual Survival Strategies. I am one of those practitioners.
Clients have stated that my level of expertise or knowledge, as well as my intuition in combination with my safe and caring nature, helped them to reach a depth of their own self-exploration that they never dreamed possible.
If you’re ready to find out more about your own type, take advantage of the 15-minute free consultation that I offer and experience for yourself.
You may also take a free online quiz here.